Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
