I think my fart just growled at me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
