shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
