I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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