So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
