Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Welp...herpes.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
