Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
