We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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