You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
