she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
