Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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