I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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