Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
