oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
