I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
