my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
