I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
