check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
