I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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