i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
