just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
