i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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