Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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