i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
