if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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