your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
