She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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