I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
