Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
