it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
