That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
