Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
