wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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