I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
