The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
