At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
FUCK WHALES
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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