this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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