yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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