Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
