And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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