Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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