Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
