Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
