From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
