I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
