Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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