did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
