Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
