dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
