Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
